1. Ride starts at 10:00 am guys dont like to get up early

2.One route 65 miles..no need to turn this into a death march

3.swag bag containing fast food coupons, naked lady playing cards and a sweet personalized  spring assisted knife..guys love that shit..no numbers this aint no race

4.Large bathrooms with plenty places to shit and lots of paper..

5.Gallons of Coffee and condiments..no fruit .....Doughnuts..dudes dont eat fruit

6.a reasonable route with minimal traffic..in a decent area preferably down south away from angry Midwestern combustion engine bred assholes
.
7.Lead vehicle and solid good size sag wagon if needed

8.Water Chicks on minibikes in the middle of the pack..with Ice cold bottles

9.Wrest stops 3 of them..covered with easy access and places to put your overpriced dick measuring tool..

10.Hooters girls or the Budweiser gals at every one of them cleaning your glasses

11.The stops will be stocked with things like White castle cheese burgers and chicken Os ..potatoe chips Oreo's Peanut Butter cups...and those baby cans of Cokes

12.Cool custom wash towels available at all stops courtesy of Hustler magazine

13.The final wrest stop ...Beer and adult beverages will be provided..but none of that snobby micro-brew shit real old man drinks..

14.Monster Magnet Playing at the finish..

15.Showers and clean clothes already laid out in the huge ass finishing area..
no-medals or time splits..KOMS or fuckin results remember this wasnt a fuckin race

the Unofficial Guys ride....