All right!
Stop whatcha doin'
'Cause I'm about to ruin
The image and the style that ya used to
To be quite honest folks TMS has been kinda just stale lately..
nothing new..
same regurgitated crap just spewn in many different images with very little words...
You think this post will be any different probably not....
but after a few normal adult beverages, and some time spent inside the knowledge room it seemed like a good idea, and perfect way to waste a few minutes of your life on this October night....bah you got better things to than to listen to this old cynical bastard fumble through his worn out muddy grammar on whats rad..and at the same time whats sad..
So feel free to get up and go about your normal business..cuz in the real world you could of..The lost pod cast tapes are out there..those three episodes inside the knowledge capsule and taped during the sit down over one those guys sandwiches..
Just think if that idea had gotten full lift off you could of just sat back and not have to have held the vomit in yer mouth fumbling through this poorly composed single finger punched turd of a post......
nope you could of listened to this all the while liking and giving kudos to all those beautiful people in your world...
sorry that shit never got farther than three unheard..episodes...
I honestly think its about time USAC jumps on the Zwift band wagon..either that or they need to find some genius to create there own virtual world of cycling..
UCI has already jumped ship to the in door thing..its probably about time the those fine folks over there in Colorado found a way to get in on the deal and dig further into your pockets because of course that would mean your regular licence wouldnt be good enough but fuck it right?? your worth it and you got the grip....
And since we are on the indoor world of cycling banter...
And trust me this tired old fool isnt totally against it...i said years ago those brains inside this world need to find a way of meshing up it with the gamer world..hell who woulda thunk back in the 80s High school students could actually have a mountain bike team as a school sport..
Well guess what loser..the future is gaming..and high schools are already ahead of the Zwift world..seems fair right?
Overweight?
ADD
hearing impaired
homophobe
germaphobe
slightly retarded
etc..
the playing field for on-line gaming is much more level now..
Zwift London...
how about adding a new twist to it..seriously you wanna un-lock that new sweet ass set of ridiculously over-priced lightweight wheels and that super dope outta reach Tron bike you cant seem to obtain...how about..That scary ass fuckin creature in the flick..American Wear wolf in London....controlled by that fat emo-kid from down the street drinking a dew and pushin down a handfull of cool ranch Doritos
Out run that man eater and gain more points to un-lock the next level or get that pair of tires you've been eyein up ...if your caught...you lose the last item you upgraded to...
Zwift Doom
Come on think you got the Watts..lets see if your FTP or DYZ or your LT is enuf to out run The Icon of Sin..All you big number fellas and (fast local hot shoe Cat 1/2 only sorry for this one)...do soo and you unlock new more radical levels..get caught by him and fall back to a Cat 3 still seeking the truth
Kudos...
we all want em right..dont they just make you happy when you give..and even better when you receive them..Really if this was Instagram and you where Kelly Sex Kitten the more kudos could be highly profitable..but since this is just a place where we pretend of sorts you get nothing...nope not if TMS was calling the shots..Kudos now mean spiffs on products promoted now through the ap itslef..
Upgrade Points..
The USAC has been pretty stingy with there up-grades..cept if your a Mountain Biker..seems like anyone can get the hook so they dont have to line up with normal humans at the ICEMAN race...But on the skinny..you better be racin your your slightly chubby butt off..Not now if TMS was king...All USAC card holding when a smash a local segment you are awarded a small % of upgrade points ..this depends highly on who you may have knocking off the leader boards..No low hanging fruit booters allowed on this block..
letting a Blog die..
nothing is more stinky than going to a once rad place to only be sadden that it hasn't been up dated in fuckin months...
for Christ sake have the respect to at least hit the hidden toggle on the dashboard..and put that shit into a coma....we equate this to having your dog and just leaving his carcass to rot in the back yard..think about it..you massaged this thing started telling us a story..gained interest and a small following your sometimes witty words had us laugh..and even feel envious....you had people waiting to hear the next adventure..and then........
closure
humans love closure
BIG BAD WOLF CYCLOCROSS RACE..
might be time to pull the plug on this event less than 50 riders.....its ok....let it go....
USAC MTB events
very few reason why a Mountain Bike racer from the scene should even hold a USAC license..what is there two USAC events.......yea..ill save my two dollars for something else i suppose..I feel real sorry for the folks that want the truth in dirt..cuz racin in Michigan aint helpin too much..
Pre-Registration
why not make it harder on the promoters..total human like when fuckers cant even pre-reg for a race anymore..No wonder the divorce rate is soo god dam fuckin high..
The Pros Closet..
going back to the world of Zwift again.........This needs to happen...there needs to be this place..where you can buy old dopers gear and pose like just like them..this shit aint coming cheap..your gonna have to set some record setting times up the PencilTucky Rooster hill climb to get Levis ride and kit..or the Cavendish Venge..
Dopage
since we are an a virtual world rant of radness..why the fuck not..special cheat codes every game has em...now these will be available to and will allow you to unlock the dope.....
I hate seeing things done half ass
if your gonna race lets do it the real world way...
Eat a dick....i hated it too.......
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