1. 700/25 @ 98 psi

2. 700/42 @  42 psi

3. Rigid aluminum frames with rim brakes

4. Phart tire bikes with disc brakes 

5. Drop bars, Suspension seat posts, and double wrapped handlebars

6. Flat bars, Lauff forks, Aero bars

7. Skin suits, cycling caps under helmet 

8. Baggy clothes, flannel, and helmets with huge visors

9. No seat bags (mechanical and your out)

10. Multiple bags with enough to sag at least a quarter of the field

11. Big thick ass chunky gravel supplied by the Monroe County road commission 

12. Big thick ass chunky gravel supplied by the same Monroe County road commission schmucks 

13. Jer Walker stopping abruptly into a ditch

14. Derrick Packfill stopping abruptly to pet a dog

15. NRC pro honch Jelly Belly’s Kirk Alber riding away from the ailing Miscene field 

16. The current Miscene hotshoe putting to the wrest of the  Michigan go fasters.

17  Victory salutes 

18. Wheelies

19. Water bottle hand ups

20 beer hand ups 

21. Endurox recovery drinks

22. Jolly pumpkin recovery drinks

23. Racing to win

24. Riding to chew the fat

25. Getting chased by rabid dogs

26. Carrying docile dogs on your back

27. 2 by 9 speed

28. 1 by 12 speed

29. Feeling completely Fckn wrecked on Monday morning 

30. Going out for a 65 mile ride on Monday morning 

31. 139 registers 

32. Over 300 registered 

33. Home by 1 pm

34. Home whenever 

35. A road bike race with a spring classic vibe

36. A gravel bike fondo with a twinkle of competitive spirit 

38. Jon Card Saturn of Toledo 

39. Jon Card Ohio velo/Spokelife cycles

40. The Wolverines Whole Foods, WAS labs, Bissell, Priority Health

41. Spoke Donkeys, Gravel Junkies, The Monroe Gravel grinders

42. 35 mph sprint finish 

43. 12 mph slog to the end 

44. Powerbars….

45….I’m TMS and hate doing these Friday fifteens….fuck

That was then…this is now..

Cone Azalia