https://redkiteprayer.com/

 

I’m not a fan of rules and conformity. I like my music loud, my comedy dirty, and my cycling free. So all the things I’m about to say are rules I keep for ME. You should disagree with them and do your own thing.

Never ride a bike wearing flip flops. This applies to skateboarding too, but that’s another site. I broke this rule recently, very briefly, and paid the price of a cracked metatarsal. The circumstances were so stupid I shudder to recount them to you, but my buddy, whose bike I had jumped on, laughed and pointed as I held my throbbing foot and limped away. I deserved that.

Never wear bike shorts twice. I consider myself a dirtbag in the sense that I value experience over education, disdain the PRO approach, and generally have low expectations for myself. But I never pull a pair of bibs out of the laundry for a rerun. That’s just bacterially reckless. The less said about that, the better.

Never ride without the stuff to fix a flat. I break this rule occasionally and even when I don’t get a flat, I feel crappy about it. This seems like the base level of consideration for those around you, retaining the ability to fix your bike in a very common situation. Riding without a tube and pump is, to me, like taking your grocery cart to the back of the parking lot and beaching it in an open parking space rather than taking it to the cart return. It’s borderline sociopathic.

Don’t match too much. I mean, if you ride for a pro team, you’re expected to look like your teammates. If you’re a schlub and bozo like me, your just wearing a costume that creates a false impression. I’m not against looking sharp, but matchy, matchy cyclists bum me out.

Don’t drop someone just cause you can. See above re: sociopathy. If you’re racing, ok. Crush a soul if you can. But if you’re just out for a ride, there’s no one left behind, right?

Don’t buy a bike just cause it’s on sale. I don’t know how many times I’ve had people tell me they have the bike they have because it was on some deep clearance discount. That just tells me you don’t give a shit what you ride, that getting a deal is more important than getting a great bike. If financial exigency is the motivation, cool. I’m not here to yuck your yum. But if you think you’re getting one over on the man by taking his discards at cut rate, I don’t get it. Love yourself better.

This week’s Group Ride asks, what are your rules for yourself and your riding? Or do you not have any? Am I horrible snob? Spoiler: Yes. It’s maybe worth saying that though I hold these rules in my mind, I wouldn’t articulate them to a friend or acquaintance as judgements. Out on the road and trail, I’m your friend, and I keep my counsel, for whatever that’s worth.

https://redkiteprayer.com/2020/08/friday-group-ride-515/