Cone of Shame, or Cone of Fame..

 

• Early season legs...
• cold winter like south/west winds...spitting snow...spotty rain, driving downpours ..dry blinding sun..
• Fresh layer of Monroe county road commission gravel..uneven broken pavement, railroad crossing hold ups..railroad crossings crashes. Sticky mud, the smell of pig shit, and the slight taste of manure..
• Four laps, six laps and mind boggling more laps..stage race...
• Old pros, national champions. Masters, cat 3/4/5...young guns..chix in daisy dukes..
• Bissell, Saturn of Toledo, Wolverines. West Michigan Coat riders, Sun Rise sports..Onam Now...
• Kirk Albers, Paul Martin, Jeff Crawford.. Stan Andrie..Shrek, Jeff Koch..Jake the Snake.Timmy Finkel..das German..Cruise..The Bunny..Kroske and that dam seat bag..and let’s not forget Super-Dave. Dan Ynkus, and JJ Dore.
• Getting guttered..gaped off, ran off... and riding solo...
• 25mm tires, flats, broken spokes. Broken frames..handlebars tweaked, and the nose of the saddle looking at the moon..and shifters pointing towards the hub..
• separated shoulders, cracked  clavicles..broken ankles and wrists, and a near death experience

 

What are you talking about Mr Peabody?

Ahh..yes..Sherm..sorry i did not fill you in were we were going tonight...We are in the Southwest corner of the mitten state..in a little town known as Azalia.

Whats there Mr Peabody, is there a brewery? A burger joint? a Starbucks. Chic Fil a?

No no and no..none of the the above. Just a church, a cemetery, and a few random country folks..

Then why are we even here? doesn't sound much like a place the scene would like to hang out?

 

 

Well it really isn't..not in a modern sense..

You see Sherm long ago. Exactly 20 years ago...this was the beginning. Of a culture. A cycling culture Gravel before. Gravel before the circus. Gravel before the costumes. Gravel.. before virtual segments. Gravel before everyone is a winner. Gravel before mugging it up for the photographer. Gravel before the big company’s cashed in on a cult like movement... gravel before it was fun. Well I shouldn't say that, it was fun for some. But not for the masses of today. Long before this silly blog was ever conceived It was the brain child of a local rider sales rep  known as Super Dave..ol Super Dave had this idea of bringing the romance of the spring classics to the normal people of the scene.

Super Dave wanted a race the embellished the hard euro-fuc like spring classics or Paris Roubaix more so. So a race that would include pavement of all sorts, dirt roads, and of course. Gravel.

 Sounds neat!!

How was it attended?

Did the riders like like it?

Was the Turn out big?

Was there free beer?

How about swag?

There must of been swag. And merch? Tell me about the free stuff..energy gels, powerbars, and coffee coupons from Starbucks..

I hope there was a class for everyone..

s

Sherm, it was accepted. but in a different way because it was a truly a different time for cyclist. USA cycling had there hand in it. And this brought out what in some of the modern time gravel grinders find too serous of riders. It catered to the roadies, i guess you could say. Not your normal weekend riders.

An approach that would not draw more than 100 riders by today's gravel standard... But at the time was a much needed reshuffle of the normal spring fling thing. The event young Sherman has sat dormant for years. Until young lad and or cycling club from the Ann Arbor area decided to bring it out of its almost forgotten entombment.

So Mr Peabody. Tell me all about this years version , will blood be involved, broken bikes? podiums? Cash, and chix?

Will Super Dave be there?

Negative, on the podiums, and doubtful if Super Dave will take part. But as far as beer yes. beer is involved and broken bike parts and of course bones one can never tell.

No Sherm the new edition is mere shell of its former traditional hard-mans day in the saddle. But thats not saying its not worth a look The new event is a much more gentle kind of an event, one that's more suited to your today's cyclists.. Its a free, self supported ride of what now is referred to as mix terrain. Its not a race and not a no drop ride. I believe Sherm, the good folks just want people to come out and ride there bikes.

Like a glorified group ride?

A promoted weekly flogging session. wrapped into one event.

But will the lengths and routes be the same as the older version?

No sir! The gravel gang of today is quite different than that of the Lycra clad group of yore. Today's gravel enthusiast could never tolerate 5 mind grinding laps around the battered homesteads of Monroe county, and manure covered fields, on pavement and golf ball size gravel roads ..No they seek greater more epic tales of Strava mode. There are three routes with of course an official start time, but folks can start whenever they chose.  As if the original version wasn't hard enough the people that are promoting this event added a 100 mile edition to go along with the 100K version and a more smaller gentle one at 50K.

The new modern Cone leaves from a very posh brewery in the Milan area. So the gravel vibe might be in a much higher effect than a high school parking lot.

Sounds like a blast!

Costumes, beer, and frame bags!

So you think Mr Peabody, the new Cone is gonna be a hit?

maybe even come back as a race? 

Heavy Sigh Sherm, 

Heavy Sigh..

No i dont, i feel the majority world of today's cyclist have moved on from the steely eyed competitive side. Im not saying folks are not out there trying, and looking for wins. As a few select individuals having even went as far as willing to fight over a all for nothing top 10 placement..But to make something appeal to masses you have to have one main ingredient to the recipe.

Fun and of course suds. Although i gash my teeth a little on the use of the name, I do feel this event will strike a nice cord with the everyday ride rough roads set. Calling it the Cone Azalia, is sort of a discredit to the original version. Like calling a Paris Roubaix fondo the Hell of the North.

Maybe a more appropriate name could of been the Tour of South/East Michigan, with Cone Azalia being included. But i would think that would hamper the draw and romance effect. So i do applaud them in that manner. And it makes me wag my tail to know that the spirit maybe of Super Dave, PappaT, and the wrest of the original gravel gang will be present.