1. Poor understanding of your actual numbers…Too much Zwift

2. Excessive belly fat…Too much beer 

3. Poor skin quality…improper hydration 

4. Shitty attitude…not enough Slayer

6. half wheelers…… too much Zwift

7. tired or grouchy around 4 o’clock….too much white flower

8. Ketchup on a hotdog….fck who does that 

9. Getting dropped from the break away…your wattage fucking sucks..

10. Pinch flat..not enough air

11. Talking with your mouth full…no social skills you English pig..

12. Divorced more than twice….someone is Fckn crazy

13. Lack of pack skills and group ride manners..... Rides alone too much 

14. Getting poop on your hands….your doing it wrong..

15. Leaky dick…..looking for love in all the wrong places 

16. Making excuses….own up to your own darn mistakes 

17. Eating yellow snow….u sick fuck

18. Bitching about your kids…..you made em that way..

19. Bad pizza….there is no such thing 

20. Being the Michiganscene….on suicide watch 24/7