Twas the night before ICEMAN

 

'Twas the night before ICEMAN, when all through the Hotel

Not a creature was stirring, not even a doodle, dachshund or a hound

The number plates were hung by the carbon bars with care,

In hopes that a podium would soon would be theres

The riders, and racers were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of Hopslam  danced in their heads;

And Sara in her 'kerchief, and Frankie in his cap,

Had just settled down for a wrestles nap,

When out on the parking lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the musty drapes and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a shiny Subaru, and four of the Fastest Michigan Hot shoes

With Lycra clad eager cyclists , so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be The ICEMAN cometh quick.

More rapid than Beagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Cole! now, Timmy! now, Ray and VIXEN!

On, Betsy! on Robby! on, Mike and Scott!

To the top of the podium! to the top of the woodchip wall!

Now ride away! ride away! ride away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, through the thicket,

So up  the Single track of the coursers they flew,

With the Subaru full of Swag, and The ICEMAN too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The hopping and skidding of each Rocket Ron

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the hallway the ICEMAN came with a bound.

He was dressed all in Rapha, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with Mud and snot;

A bundle of  swag he had flung on his back,

And he looked like James Knight as began opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they glared! his perfect teeth how white!

His cheeks were tan, his nose in perfect A list form!

His smug little smile was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a Blunt he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke of a  it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a strong masculine face and perfectly sculpted abs ,

he spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the gear bags with swag; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, he blew thickest green wad

He sprang to his Trusty steed , to his team gave a wave,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

HAPPY  ICEMAN TO ALL, 

AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!