Sand
Blood
Dust
Sugar
Water
Mud
Grass
Tarmac
Leaves and twigs
Rocks
Snakes
Toads
Pig shit
Horse shit
Goose poop
Spit
Drool
Slobber
And after birth on toast..
It’s just pizza
Dogs…Dogs..
People walking dogs
People petting dogs
People picking up the stuff dogs leave behind
People racing with dogs strapped to there back…
(When did this become a thing)
Yorkies
Doodles
Labs
Mutts
No pit bulls…
White people don’t do Pit Bulls
Soft pedal
No pedal
Cruise
Chillin
Parking lot warm ups that make the Willow TT look like safety city
Quick adjustments
No adjustments
Complete pull the fucker apart adjustments
Finish line Nazi
Canyon
Poseidon
Long travel
Short travel
Phart bikes
Road bikes
Tyke bikes
Homegrown
Drunk fellas in Hey Dudes spilling beer on people shoes
Fit people
Out of shape people
Skinny people
Older people
Large people
Sweaty people
Drunk people
Tired people
Talkative people
Silent people
Nice people
Grumpy people
Rich people
Attractive people
And not surprisingly…
No brown skin people
Car racks worth more than my car
Neons
Earth tone
Red
Blue
Black
Pink
Yellow
Where old canti CX bikes go to live again.
Sorta
Hey…get out of the way…people are finishing
No Alexey
No Hugo
No Alex
No UCI honchos
No Scotty Q
No Ian
No Adam
No John
No Brian
But….
Pasta J …
SIMONSTER
Brewchamp "……….needs to eat a sandwich
Jesse
Dankus
Dankert
Timer
Shaumenberger
The Evildude looked good in Pink
Kroske
Big Ray
Judah
Justin
Siegfried
Miles
Ryan
Jake
Jeff
Payton
Chrystal
Clive
Merrit
Paul
Kimberly
Nora
Logan
Mike
Chuck
Baby
Noah
Jorden
Eli
Jacob
Tommy
Danny
Lucas
Missy
Corbin
Trisha
Callie
Caleb
SJD in the house
The Pony looked good
Old school Paul Dunn rode like a badass
The Cosi dental dudes prefer the sidewalk to getting gutterd
Keegan got locked in the toilet and to attack from the back.
Shrek wrote a pile of Checks, and survived all the same
That fit looking Base Media gal can suffer like a mofo…huge respect…..
Easy packet pickup
Friendly volunteers
If you pre ordered merchandise please step to your right
Flannels
Gaiters
Scarfs
Stickers
Decals
Sweaters
T shirts….T shirts …and more T shirts..
That are making …..
Ian Curtis is rolling over in his grave
Hey..you in the orange and purple please do not ride backwards up the finish chute..
Hamburgers covered with Cheetohs 18$
Pulled pork with a side of MSG saturated Beans 15$
Walking Taco 12$
Beer everywhere
On the ground
On people’s chest
On my back
On the some poor pooches head…
Except out of the founders beer area…
No beer out side the Founders beer expo..pour it out…
Dad’s winning
Dads crying
Dads doing that thing that people do at metal concerts with there fingers
Dads high fivin
Dad’s slightly intoxicated
Dad’s laying in the Jesus Christ pose nearly everywhere…all the while there Lululemon clad fit wives look on with confusion
Kids
Kids crying
Kids whining
Kids sobbing
Kids needing naps
Kids climbing on bikes
Kids climbing on rocks
Kids picking there nose
Kids eating there boogers
Kids digging holes
Kids falling down
Rayban
Smith
Rudy Project
Oakley
Fakely
Glasses that look like poop emoji’s
Do not enter here….you must go around..
Grrrrr Nazi bitch
Selfies
Help me
Choke me
Shoot me
Primal Wear
Voler wear
Old wear
Team wear
Underwear
On your left
Whoa
Turning left
Hey buddy watch it
Fuck hold your line
Fuck….just fuck
Wave one, no wave two…uh what wave you in ..
Dude..i forgot my shoes
Dude got any lube
Dude lube my shorts
Dude you fart?
Dude grab me another beer
Dude you see that ..
Dude I’m drunk
I love dude
Dude…
Strava stars
KOM queens
Gapped off
Back off
Stand offs
Base Media
Salsa
Down river cycling club
Turbo
Durbo
Founders
Rock Road
Slo Yer Roll
Woulda
Coulda
Shoulda
Did
But then ..
Single speed
Fix speed
7 speed
8 speed
I dunno how many speeds
Wtf speed
Garmin
Wahoo
No who
Go to.
Show ups
No shows
Didn’t go..
Tripper…geez Louise rabbit sounds like you had one heck of a day at the Barry Roubaix..
Rudy…I did Tripper , it was a real cool vibe, not totally what I was suspecting..I mean everyone was so friendly and happy, no negative energy anywhere, I mean I feel like came home and I was super charged with motivation..
Tripper..and we’ll the Barry folks?
Rudy..I actually saw Buttcrack Jenny! The Attacker, his beard is epic…Kroske and the Michigan famous SJD ! She’s so much shorter in real life! oh and that Salsa factory team rider…ultra endurance girl. Bill Fartandale…I mean it was kinda surreal, but it wasn’t..u no? I didn’t think they would be so close to general public…Oh wow and the food vendors..were really choice..I got pulled pork and baked bean entree for 20$ …
Tripper.. marvelous Rudy…but…how did your ride go..?
Rudy..it was pretty cool I mean I didn’t win anything or even probably get my picture taken by Rob but I was out there…and I only had stop once..
Tripper..what about the course..wasn’t it challenging..
Rudy.. oh yes..Shaw road oh…geez and then Sager…but the that grassy part was fun too…but my favorite part was not dying before I even went to the line…it was bikes everywhere..
Tripper..any gripes?
Rudy..we’ll yea.. the staging was kinda of a pain in the rumpus..I mean I was in wave one of my race but there were piles of Wave 2 riders mixed in before the gun event went off…it was really confusing to say the least..
Tripper..well rabbit…there will always be hiccups so sounds like your going back next year!
Rudy.. I mean yea maybe..we’ll see…you never know Tripper what or where life takes us..
11 comments:
Fast Canucks….
Great time, great race, but people need to know their place when lining up. They should have put the "keep your ass moving" finish lady at the start. She could have been the, "hey you're slow, get the hell back" lady.
Brilliant
Need more cowbells
Caffeine Soul should do a documentary on the chute Nazi.
The staging was not on par with the event. But I suppose there is no other way to execute it.
I'm so glad TMS exists.
AWE SHUCKS
Does Scotty A race anymore?
No one stays away long.
Anyone know who the woman was that flashed the 36 mile group Saturday?
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