Sand

Blood

Dust

Sugar 

Water

Mud

Grass

Tarmac 

Leaves and twigs 

Rocks

Snakes

Toads

Pig shit

Horse shit

Goose poop

Spit

Drool

Slobber

And after birth on toast..

It’s just pizza 

Dogs…Dogs..

People walking dogs 

People petting dogs

People picking up the stuff dogs leave behind 

People racing with dogs strapped to there back…

(When did this become a thing) 

Yorkies 

Doodles

Labs

Mutts

No pit bulls…

White people don’t do Pit Bulls

Soft pedal 

No pedal

Cruise 

Chillin 

Parking lot warm ups that make the Willow TT look like safety city

Quick adjustments 

No adjustments 

Complete pull the fucker apart adjustments 

Finish line Nazi

Canyon

Poseidon 

Long travel

Short travel

Phart bikes

Road bikes

Tyke bikes 

Homegrown 

Drunk fellas in Hey Dudes spilling beer on people shoes

Fit people 

Out of shape people 

Skinny people 

Older people 

Large people

Sweaty people 

Drunk people 

Tired people 

Talkative people 

Silent people 

Nice people

Grumpy people 

Rich people

Attractive people 

And not surprisingly…

No brown skin people 

Car racks worth more than my car

Neons

Earth tone 

Red

Blue 

Black 

Pink 

Yellow

Where old canti CX bikes go to live again.

Sorta

Hey…get out of the way…people are finishing 

No Alexey 

No Hugo

No Alex

No UCI honchos 

No Scotty Q

No Ian

No Adam

No John 

No Brian

But….

Pasta J …

SIMONSTER

Brewchamp "……….needs to eat a sandwich 

Jesse

Dankus

Dankert

Timer

Shaumenberger

The Evildude looked good in Pink

Kroske

Big Ray

Judah

Justin

Siegfried 

Miles

Ryan

Jake 

Jeff

Payton

Chrystal

Clive

Merrit

Paul

Kimberly

Nora

Logan

Mike

Chuck

Baby

Noah

Jorden

Eli

Jacob

Tommy

Danny

Lucas

Missy

Corbin 

Trisha

Callie

Caleb

SJD in the house 

The Pony looked good

Old school Paul Dunn rode like a badass

The Cosi dental dudes prefer the sidewalk to getting gutterd 

Keegan got locked in the toilet and to attack from the back.

Shrek wrote a pile of Checks, and survived all the same

That fit looking Base Media gal can suffer like a mofo…huge respect…..

Easy packet pickup 

Friendly volunteers 

If you pre ordered merchandise please step to your right

Flannels 

Gaiters 

Scarfs 

Stickers 

Decals 

Sweaters

T shirts….T shirts …and more T shirts..

That are making …..

Ian Curtis is rolling over in his grave

Hey..you in the orange and purple please do not ride backwards up the finish chute..

Hamburgers covered with Cheetohs 18$

Pulled pork with a side of MSG saturated Beans 15$

Walking Taco 12$

Beer everywhere 

On the ground 

On people’s chest 

On my back 

On the some poor pooches head…

Except out of the founders beer area…

No beer out side the Founders beer expo..pour it out…

Dad’s winning 

Dads crying 

Dads doing that thing that people do at metal concerts with there fingers 

Dads high fivin 

Dad’s slightly intoxicated 

Dad’s laying in the Jesus Christ pose nearly everywhere…all the while there Lululemon clad fit wives look on with confusion 

Kids

Kids crying 

Kids whining 

Kids sobbing 

Kids needing naps

Kids climbing on bikes

Kids climbing on rocks

Kids picking there nose

Kids eating there boogers

Kids digging holes

Kids falling down

Rayban 

Smith

Rudy Project

Oakley

Fakely 

Glasses that look like poop emoji’s 

Do not enter here….you must go around..

Grrrrr Nazi bitch

Selfies

Help me

Choke me

Shoot me

Primal Wear

Voler wear 

Old wear

Team wear

Underwear 

On your left

Whoa

Turning left 

Hey buddy watch it

Fuck hold your line

Fuck….just fuck

Wave one, no wave two…uh what wave you in ..

Dude..i forgot my shoes

Dude got any lube

Dude lube my shorts

Dude you fart?

Dude grab me another beer

Dude you see that ..

Dude I’m drunk

I love dude

Dude…

Strava stars

KOM queens

Gapped off

Back off

Stand offs

Base Media

Salsa

Down river cycling club 

Turbo

Durbo 

Founders

Rock Road

Slo Yer Roll

Woulda 

Coulda 

Shoulda 

Did

But then ..

Single speed

Fix speed 

7 speed 

8 speed 

I dunno how many speeds

Wtf speed

Garmin

Wahoo 

No who

Go to.

Show ups

No shows

Didn’t go..

Tripper…geez Louise rabbit sounds like you had one heck of a day at the Barry Roubaix..

Rudy…I did Tripper , it was a real cool vibe, not totally what I was suspecting..I mean everyone was so friendly and happy, no negative energy anywhere, I mean I feel like came home and I was super charged with motivation..

Tripper..and we’ll the Barry folks?

Rudy..I actually saw Buttcrack Jenny! The Attacker, his beard is epic…Kroske and the Michigan famous SJD ! She’s so much shorter in real life! oh and that Salsa factory team rider…ultra endurance girl. Bill Fartandale…I mean it was kinda surreal, but it wasn’t..u no? I didn’t think they would be so close to general public…Oh wow and the food vendors..were really choice..I got pulled pork and baked bean entree for 20$ …

Tripper.. marvelous Rudy…but…how did your ride go..?

Rudy..it was pretty cool I mean I didn’t win anything or even probably get my picture taken by Rob but I was out there…and I only had stop once..

Tripper..what about the course..wasn’t it challenging..

Rudy.. oh yes..Shaw road oh…geez and then Sager…but the that grassy part was fun too…but my favorite part was not dying before I even went to the line…it was bikes everywhere..

Tripper..any gripes? 

Rudy..we’ll yea.. the staging was kinda of a pain in the rumpus..I mean I was in wave one of my race but there were piles of Wave 2 riders mixed in before the gun event went off…it was really confusing to say the least..

Tripper..well rabbit…there will always be hiccups so sounds like your going back next year! 

Rudy.. I mean yea maybe..we’ll see…you never know Tripper what or where life takes us..