Put down the pipe, stroke your cortex and strap your dreamin caps one ,,,
a 10-12 race Time trial series..just like the good ol days of Bobby and co....cept now we aint we doing the silly two lap thing..going back old school one lap for all..5 mile who cares payouts the same give the local hotshoes KOM honches and seasoned locals a chance to compare there egos against guys like Yankum The Giant and others..keep it simple no medals..every one loves liquor..over all winner winds a gnarly pile of cool stuff ranging from free meals, nutritional products..entry into to next years events no bike swag it would just end up on Evilbay...each trail host and event
Poto (underground event)
Big M double points
Flat bars and fat tires Spring training series
run in conjunction with..@ AAVC and Waterford..Gratten....one group 20 min. roadie fucks bring your mountainbike to warm up..dirt clods come see how ego inflated roadie fucks use lousy team tactics and silly riding habits to create a interesting dangerous environment
6 hr Team Relay invite only Hanson Hills, huge mega burn plastic shit party afterwards hosted by Monster Magnet and Specialized bikes
Mid summer fire road fury: a Black Bear 100 like race cept a 100 mile point to point fire road race..field limit 100 riders Grayling to Oscoda fire roads, two track and pavement..trail..etc. prize list 25 deep..good shit and $$. 100$ primes randomly placed throughout the course
Late summer Mountain bike crit series: yea thats right..a short event 20-30-40 minutes in length depending on category..in the back Parking lot of Meigers on US23 and M-59...lets get ready for this absurd cross scheduling looming..
(phart bikes, singlespeed roadbike CX bike wheelchairs shopping carts recumbent s...everyone races one class no matter the bike or tire width,,,,,,fuck) over weight over age..suck it up! race your bike
1. roadbikes on dirt
2.phart bikes on pavement
5.four way stops
6.before the internet
12.helmets with no holes
Waterloo grit and Gravel:
suddenly we have true spring classics now...medals to everyone because we all are winners no matter what USAC sez..Its the future embrace it.
a hiddin jewel just waiting to be tapped in... hardman$$ points by doubling this up with the above.. Waterford Spring training series (1 race counts towards the overall):
first official pull your manhood and swing your dick chase everything that moves showdown. A great three race series with only event counting towards the Miscene all somethin point series, individual 3 race overall winner will get an over the pants hand job from someone
The Lowell 50:
stop number two on the quest for high fives broken bike shit and the quest for power and glory. do this event if you skipped Waterloo and have any chance in holy hell to podium at big Rickys green machine
here it is The shining star at the end of holy week and now the official kick off to the Miscene season
no points awared here Rick dropped the prize money for the overall winners and filled it in with an extra life insurance policy for next years event
The Cone Azalia Roubaix:
The OG of gravel groveling Cat 1/2/3 masters only..point to point through every dumpy little gummo town in the lowest county of the state. if you love gravel, potholes rednecks named Thad and pig shit dont miss this one
The Willow Time trial:
stop number one of the series within a series The Willow TT not another better way to gauge what your folks stuck you with at the point of conception/
The AAVC spring training series (1 race counts towards the overall):
The crown jewel for spring flingers gets bumperd into May and with the demise of other numerous races this one is a savor for early peakers. count one towards the overall..the rest braggin rights
The Westbranch classic Proloug:
yep thats right start at the old last corner and race to the old first turn Phartbikes, TT rigs its all fair game..The Westbranch classic Road Race ( new course point to point 120 K pro 1/2 all others 60K): 120 K starts In Westbranch and ends in the wild turkey capital of Michigan, The ^0 gets the same finish but a much faster route...dont leave Fairview without getting one of those neat Hot pink wild Turkey G-strings at the local beer garden!
Cherry roubaix prologue/The Cherry roubaix road race:3.5 miles in the AM...before a 60K road race up the hilliest roads in the north. not too long to get boring over the same old fight for wheels Michigan road race bull shit..
The Ausable valley team Time trial 25K++ (double points): 2-4-6 person teams
M-33 to the Mckinley bar..smooth fast and rolls sweeter than Timmy H.get there and get blitzed with the rest of drunken flat landers
Mid season break
go spend some time taking care of all the shit you neglect
the Sylvania cycling classic ***:
dont be scared of this one..dont die wondering...rise above and give this race the support it deserves...
The Four Corners twilight criteruim Ann Arbor***:
easy to understand and hard as shit to find parking..but lotsa a places to get grub and liquor when its all done..
The Capital City twilight classic***:
Just like last year..but reverse course with a pay to match the size of the turnout The Jackson downtown throw down***:
think back if you have been around long enough this downtown crit with its minimal shitty bumpy corners is false flat one way and down hill the next..but this time around its 35 min all fields with a miss in out to make things dam fast from the line! The Hines Drive 20K++:
one turn around easy for even those most mathematically challenged humans to grasp.. The Stoney Creek time trial ++:
One lap around..any rig worthy just watch out for uptight Rochesterites in Beemers
The AAVC low T summer crit ominium (invitation only):
Industrial park racing returns to the scene mid summer 4 races is one sunny afternoon..a panel of judgementel pricks will sift through the worthy ones to come do battle all cats in one big sweat blue vien throbbing class..... 1 lap TT, a win and a out... miss and out then finish it off with a
1.5 crit lapped riders pulled big winner gets a S-works bike courtesy of our Michigan sales rep
Another One Last Downtown Twilight crit ***
(site yet to be determined): somewhere in the GR area...probably Gaslight but reverse..think how much fucking fun the last turn will be used as the first at mach III.....come on you wanna keep racing right...need to have that fitness for the absurd cross schedule coming Labor Day 3 day
end the summer the right way fucking dead tired and broke 8am Saturday Kensington short course circuit race, 1.5 hrs all levels..Erie st because its worth it...and the labor day classic ( new venue)
***/++denotes series top five will receive something of decent value, in a timely manner
entry fees same for all events and payout suitable
$$ hardman primes in all crits count towards somethin of decent value
somethin for everyone...keep Michigan working some money driving all over the place!