Fun Reading from a TMs'er

Todd Elenz Racing Journal

Ode to the Offseason

Oh it’s that time of year again. The time for bike racers to get off the couch, go find their bikes (now where did I leave that thing…?) and begin losing weight (I’ve cut back to 8 Christmas cookies a day).

After many weeks of negligent eating, you catch a glimpse in the mirror and are surprised that you no longer resemble a starving African. A few years ago, I would enter the “anorexic season” shortly after the holidays. Many uncomfortable nights were spent completely famished on my air mattress in my dank Tucson apartment.

I’m past that phase in my life now. Being hungry isn’t fun, and besides, the bike racers in Belgium are shaped like linebackers. A few years ago, I asked one of the fastest Belgians I knew how to build more muscle. He had a perplexed look on his face and after a few moments said in a serious tone, “Try eating more ice cream.”

After three years of bouncing off cobbles all over Northern Europe, I follow what has been dubbed the Todd Elenz Training Program of riding five hours a day then eating all the crap you can fit in your mouth. Krispy Kreme is as important to the elite racer as is his coach or verzorger. In fact, I might be the only customer to try to make dinner reservations at Krispy Kreme.

One of my roommates (Jason) raced for a French team, where the smelly, old directors shake their cigarette butts at you for simply making eye contact with that plate of chocolates. He’s also from Southern California and when he came to Midwestern State (oh yeah, I’m going to school in Texas now), he had a nutritionalist and weighed all his noodles and vegetables before eating them. After living with me, he no longer has a nutritionalist and I haven’t seen the scale in awhile.

About a month ago, as we were sitting in the school cafeteria eating our curds and whey, Jason challenged me to a desert eating contest. I worried a little bit for him; that’s kind of like a nondrinker challenging an alcoholic to a drinking contest. He surprised me by polishing off six deserts and loads of ice cream—on a rest day. Good to see another convert.

Cheers to a new season.

Todd