BASHERS CORNER

We interrupt this race report for Bashers corner...

Tri GEEKS, yea, were sure at one point most of you have poked fun at this odd disciple of our scene, maybe even some of us are, or have been one. Basher took a a look at those some refer to as TRI GEEKS

Point:

Fuckin A, where do I start? Jesus you assholes piss me off. Maybe it shouldn't be pissing me off as much as it just makes me wonder, what the fuck are you thinking? I've seen some weird shit riding on the road and mtb, but these Darwinians take the cake. The things I see them do make powermeters sound like a great idea for everyone. First of all, what's up with riding jacked up carbon Cervelo bikes with tubular wheels on training rides? Ok, the frame I can see, but training on a tri-spoke and disc? Really? Man you must have Bill Gates money to be rolling around on that in training. Also, do you really need to wear a time trial helmet while you're training? Seriously? Are you training or racing? That looks so dumb I can only shake my head. How are you benefitting yourself by going all race day on your training rides? Wouldn't you want to ride some heavier wheels and a normal helmet so that when you do race.......oh, I get it, you don't actually enter races do you? Ok, this makes sense now. This is probably why it's so easy for everyone and their brother to be triathletes. When you don't actually have to put your neck on the line and face the Pain of getting your ass kicked, you can look the part and tell everyone you are some super serious athlete so we think you're cool, but really you're just riding around with all your tricked out shit getting passed by old fat dudes sitting upright. If you have all that shit on and you're riding at a park where there will be other people riding bikes, you better fucking be the fastest rider there. How can you go to sleep at night if you're not. Theoretically, you have the fastest set up there. I know how you get to sleep, you tuck it between your legs and smile in the mirror. Which leads me me to my next point. On more than one occasion now, I have seen these doucheturds riding the bike (tubulars and all) and the helmet, wait for it.......with no jersey on. WHAT? As narcissistic as roadies can be and as cool as mtb'rs think they are, I have never seen either group of "racers" ride shirtless. This can only be summed up in one way: You are for the Gays. Go put a jersey on you fucking homo! This ain't myspace. You're not some model. You're just a douche. GO AWAY!

Counterpoint:

Why all the hate? See, we can't ride our bikes off road or, God forbid, turn our bikes, so mountain biking is out. Besides, we would get way too dirty doing that. Our road bikes aren't very comfortable and frankly don't look very fast, so tri bikes are perfect for us. Set the bars up so I can just lounge all ride and having that disc and tri-spoke really makes look fast as hell. And don't you know how many seconds I'd be losing if I didn't wear the aero helemt. I keep a log you know and if I don't make vast improvements, I might get crushed someday. And you only see me getting passed by these so called old fat dudes sitting upright when I'm resting between intervals. I can't help it every time you pass me coming or going that I'm in between intervals. That's just bad timing on your part. Besides, that old fat dude is really a stealth young guy with a bad position. Do you know how much faster he'd be if he were on a tri-bike? And you got it all wrong. If you expect me to get to sleep at night, of course I have to without a jersey. Do you know stupid it would look if I were to stand in front of the mirror tucking it in with a shirt on? Talk about Gay! Fuck that shit.

REMEMBER: if you cant race..TRI