Tolda ya i wasnt going no-where besides its a Monday night what else you got goin on......hanging with dead folk i need to vent a lil bit....
Strava What a beautiful concept this strava thing is..man o man it can make training soo much more fun, your intervals less mind numbing and seeing a personal gain just when you thought that your lousy genetics had fully condemned you to a life of fondos and disease rides.... factor in the bragging rights you can tout on the various social media networks to your non in the know friends... ...downside...you could die trying to break that one often outta reach segment..
and dying sucks...
Crits: fast paced great to watch and fun as hell when your in the groove or off the front..whether it be a technical 8 corner crazy ass black-ace style one or just your run of the mill average industrial park smooth curbed sit in and sprint they can be bad ass too...get stuck by those jack asses that grab a handful of brake in every oh-shhit situation and your losing skin..what about that one dick-head that is constantly looking back..the fucking race is up the road asshole.... what oh shit wheel over lap chopping corners you cheese dick....
on second thought the Phart bike time Trials in the Wal-Mart parking lot sound more fun...
Technical descents Just like crits if you descend like Mofo there fun is shit..if you lack any sort of MTB skills then plastic surgery is always an option...that or Bowling..on second thought...
Group rides: OMG who doesnt love a friendly group ride.....a great way to work on the simple pace line..practice proper cornering..get to know the hot line down that gnarly singletrack..maybe chat about the wife and kids..job etc.. ever so useful when your T is low and you need that extra push from what comes from being around other over-inflated ego fucks.....down-side...just putting two together and its highly likely its going to turn into a race...suffocating drive your best buddies into the ground...better yet show your bros on how good you have gotten at the fine art of half wheeling...fuck
Group sex: what ??? come on you know ya'all at some point ya'll have thought about it or even attempted to do it..always sounds soo much better than it really is...gorgeous well shaped Eyes-Wide Shut supermodels..add some cocaine and masks and its off to the show...unfortunately most of time it looks and feels more like the waiting in line at the TnA travel center at 6 a.m.
Pity
No comments:
Post a Comment