i figure for the most part we all are still pretty much locked in the grip of a Michigan winter sure you are gettin warm days to get your thing in whatever your thing is but in actuality we can get a big one laid on us in a NASCAR minute..so why not go and get your best jungle truckers out and stomp through one of the most lousy turd riddin grammar post i have composed in months.....
You know the type..there out they come in many shapes, sizes,...gender is not a limiter neither is age race, creed or color... maybe your buds with one, your sleeping partner is one..those duds you pal around with on mans night..the asshole at the car wash..your boss your wingman/wingwmoman..team mate doctor, father, mother brother wife mistress..etc..you get the first part picture dont cha?..
Who was it that coined the phrase a mind is a terrible thing to taste...no matter..Ts been spending some sleepless nights thinking things over..Yea he hasn't gotten decent lift off in a few months and there no amount of back to back episodes of Designing woman gonna set that puppy straight..so he reached way far for this one and put his feelers out to get alittle help from a good friend named Henry..Ya know aint nobody in the world T can count like Henry..so sit back and get ready to let T and Henry spread some ever loving turd opinionated knowledge on ya all! pull on yer shit kickers cuz for the next few Mondays were gonna vent alittle...
Knives: nothing more beautiful than a finely crafted knife..whether its a Lionsteel..Benchmade..Kershaw..or hell T will even take the ones outta the grab basket at the local tourist trap....some are a work of old school art..but in the hands of some fools they become deadly..even more deadly when its the Swiss army knife..give it to fool like T who has long since chewed his nails down the nubs trying to figure out who shot JR..not a good gift
Installation/Instruction manuals: Great if you take the time..if you dont you run the risk of fucking shit up and well then your left to deal with it.....Sauder Furniture is always fun..IKEA even a idiot can put this shit together hell you dont even need words any longer since no fool ever fully takes the time to read them... between yelling at the kids... the spouse nagging ya or reachin for another beer trying to get shit done..bike shit is no different..who ever helped out designing the power tap manual should have three head units and hub crammed up there fucking ass...worthless..
Four ways: lets narrow it down to..four way stops...when they work they work..when they dont..they fill T with enough road rage to murder a small trailer park where these fucking morons dwell...its hard enough to deal with humans on a face to face basis at times.. but through a few of these indecisive distracted by whatever is inside there head, hands or mouth and now put these assholes behind the wheel of weapon..and it escalates to Godzilla like proportions....someone make a fucking decision for Christ sake!!!..........move.............fuck
Gluing Tubular tires: get it right and it makes all the difference between sucking wind and being first.... if not your last..(unless your racing DC than you are always going to lose)..get it wrong and you look like a chump stumbling to the pits shouldering a bike with a limp biscuit..or worse yet eating black top at 30 ..take your time, buy new shit often and take pride in it..it too is a lost art
Social media:Boy howdy haters this one is a no-brainier...20 years ago kids settled matters the old fashion way..meet behind the back stop after school and duke it out...if you had a crush on someone you passed notes..As OG adults you may have hung out by the lockers, or water coolers and talked shop bitched or complained about the wife, the boss...received real hand picked birthday cards from people that truly really cared about you..the only fucking selfie we knew was a drivers license or a mug shot.....a pretty fucking simple time..Now days its who can spill there gutz..look for praise..and tout how fucking happy/sad, mad..stoked or whatever they are..all the while big brother,wife,husband..or your next boss hell even the shop thats throwing swag your way is watching you build a big ol steamier of shit you may someday land in...T gets the social media..actually really likes it..but seeing what plate of old pilgrim you just prepared to ingest is not on the top his list....
Motorcycles:..nothing more slick and rad as putting a engine and two wheels between your legs....nothing more dangerous than tons of horsepower that allows for zero mistakes..(except maybe the Indy 500) through in all those fools ridin without sans helmet and well i suppose were just thinning up the gene pool...
Alcohol:..the ultimate liquid of transformation..in moderation it can make a canoe trip smooth as silk a ordinary night go pretty dam easy... even keeps T from gettin all red faced on Friday after 8:15 too much and it can turn a normal fool into the ultimate jerk... life of the party, Rambo..child beating spouse slapping fucking asshole..cant say enough on how much T cant stand obnoxious drunken fuckin motor-drivin rednecks...
knowledge: the most beautiful thing on earth..well the second most beautiful thing..in the hands of the right ones it can lead to great things! medical research,, fabulous new ways to prepare a burger..toys that can stimulate a young mind..in the hands of a cyclist it can lead to goals met and happy moments...but who coined the phrase.."He knows enough to make himself dangerous" never has there been a more true statement than that.... give some fools a piece of the pie and next thing you know there serving that piece up to other fools and so on down the line..taking good knowledge and rendering utter-fucking useless...knowledge should be held close and cradled like a new born baby...knowledge is power in the hands of a few...stop fucking it up...
Training: more specifically..the word...some through it around like they aint got a care in the world..who know maybe they dont....but for the love of money it makes the lunk heads that do put the time in and get it..look as normal as the dipshit that calls riding around breathing everyday training...stop..call it something..call it...exercising ...i dunno..fuck....
see you next time or not...
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