Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Guitar hero

Actors want to be Rock stars...
sports heroes want to be actors..
men want to be women..
fat people wanna be skinny..skinny people wanna be skinnier,,
the young want to get old and the old want youth...

and all the while T wants this crazy shit to end so he can sit on a beach with his Atalanta friends...

Welcome to guitar hero,..of course your opinionated..grammatically crippled one T is your host...whats this crazy time waistin shit gonna be about..?..come on use your imagination ..admit it we all have kicked alittle air guitar at one time in our lives..on the can on the trainer..in the shower..
at the arena and hell even T can throw the sticks in between riffs and licks like a mofo....

Ive been tryin to wrap this worn out old grey mass around the sweet smelling world of zwift and strava for the past few years..and in one fatal convo..a wise man shed light on my darkness......Guitar hero...thats it,,,muther fuckin guitar hero....now dont get me wrong i wouldn't mind pryin the those chubby cyber cheeks apart and  jabbin my manhood way up inside alittle zwift from now again..but lets be honest!!   T aint got the grip so he has gotten pretty darn fair at doin it hiself...but when i hear folks talking about there tss or there threshold,,and how they stacked up against all there suffers fest friends..and local hotshoes down at there LBS i gots to admit it makes me think of the similaritys of guitar hero...all the world is a stage..from yer basement or comfy garage..here instead of being David lee Roth ..or the Randy Rhodes of the virtual fucked up world of pretend..you can be the Honch..The Gunslinger..The Kid Carbon or Darth Vaul of the online racing world..like TV party..you can fall in Love on the Love Boat..live out your surreal fantasy..with Ricardo  or fuckin run down the muggers in full TJ Hooker style without ever pinning it on..guess what ??

 USAC,,,big time savings and think about the grip in your pocket for all that carbon shit!..both have down sides..being a guitar hero legend...your not getting the full rock start effect that comes along and has an impact on the way you play..life on the road, babes, booze..drugs and lack of  sleep..to get the complete dick measurement these need to be simulated in your rise to stardom....but how do you get these on the zwift side? what are they T...?..

How bought gettin braked checked into a curb..gaped off..overlapping wheels..??

might be fun..invite a  buddy to come over and take random shots at ya..turn the heat up in the room and cram twenty of your pro-deal teammates elbow to elbow while taking on the London course, or set the pain cave up in the driveway on a cold morning..

 I guess what im sayin folks and those in the know..know its just a video..Ts only hope is that in a perfect world all the virtual shit can be combined into a big sweaty pile of fun lovin criminals..

Im picturing this:

you can roll any rig you want..skinny, Phart, knobbie..smooth..Explro or TT..what the fuckever

The objective: 
Your  entered in a guitar face off with Slash at the Troubadour.. but before you can get there and take the stage.. you have to take on the local pain train  group ride through Los Santos...all your zwiftin buddies are invited and are coming in full swing yer dick mode.haul ass and bump elbows in the middle of this doped up city.. dodging all the fucked up incoming shit from on line GTA players..it would be crazy ass fuckin sick...get there take down Slash get the chix and win big..and move on...

 Of course to do this race you have to compete at lesser events with lower level riders..earlier on at much smaller clubs  against yet to be guitar icons...as you win you earn those much coveted up grade points..

im gettin lift off just thinkin about it...

U-NO its out there..
use your imagination it dont cost nothin...
Love ya


Anonymous said...

I'm in. I have already done part of this game on many rides. I imagine that I have a fucking rocket launcher mounted to the front of my bike. Whenever someone pisses me off in a car I can see myself launching that missile at them. I keep score based on how badly I damaged the car with the missile.

Anonymous said...