Monday, November 20, 2017

130 Opinions 1 Asshole



1.MMBA – Doing good for trails and racing, just don’t go to that forum…
2.MBRA – Why are they here again?
3.USAC – LOL, total joke
4.Trek – Still making cool plastic bikes
5.Michigan CX – On the rebound
6.the Lil Pony – The BOSS of ‘Cross
7.LAKO – Keep piling on people
8.Scotty A – Is there anywhere he’s not fast?
9.3T – Strange concepts perhaps I’m too old to appreciate
10.3T explore – It’s a bird, it’s a plane, no it’s a Superbike!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
11.Facebook – Red pill or blue pill?  Can be a good tool, can also be a cesspool
12.old dudes on Harley's – Not down with the motorcycle crowd, those guys are fags
13.cycling chicks that dont ride – As long as they’re hot…
14.equal payouts – As long as you do equal work, but that never happens
15.Cat 5 riders – Got to start somewhere
16.comebacks – Easier said than done…
17.Heart attacks – Let’s all avoid them
18.aero-helmets – One of the bigger marketing scams the industry has pulled
19.Base media kits – Kinetic copycats
20 Michigan trails – Some of the best in the country.  And the sheer number is something that we shouldn’t take for granted.
21 Taylor Swift - CUNT
22.Doom Metal – I like my Metal a little speedier
23.dig shit – I flush my shit
24.Twinkies (original) – OG fat kid food
25.KFC – Fuck Yeah Colonel Sanders!
26.Tits or Ass – Titties ALL DAY!
27.Sebastian Bach – Had the pipes, but now he’s a joke
28.marijuana – Pass
29.ICEMAN – Great course, too bad it’s so late on the calendar
30 Specialized – FUCK those Cocksuckers!
31.Smith sport – Used to make cool cycling glasses
32.Frito-Lay – If you’re not down for that Twinkie…
33.Reese – Desert Island candy
34.Redhook crit shit – That’s some crazy racing
35.spring – Ann Arbor Worlds
36.summer – Where did everyone go?
37.fall - #crossiscoming
38.winter - Hibernation
39 erections – Still getting them
40.giant bicycles – Don’t get the credit they deserve
41.Danzig – Napoleon syndrome, should probably just go sell TV’s
42.masters that dope – Fuck em all to Death
43.Pizza Hut – Still got wicked good crust
44.rent it lease or own it – Do what makes the best financial sense for you
45.Pioneer – Affordable power
46.Sram – They’ll do anything for you
47.Shimano – Tough luck Charlie, go search the deep web for that obsolete part we can’t even diagnose
48.death – It’s coming for all of us
49.single or double – Like them both, still can’t decide
50 11 speed or 10 speed.. – This one goes to 11…
51.Zwift – Guitar Queero
52.the WIZ – Loves that beer
53.Danny Klein – Spring King
54.Track racing – Better have some big balls for Michigan tracks
55.stains in your dates underwear – Deal breaker
56.flying – Safest mode of transportation
57.retiring – Some people are confused…
58.gun to tape – Go race Elite you pussy
59.time trialing – The race of Truth
60 Strava – It’s a dope tool we can all use for good
61.Liz Renay – Loved to get married
62.The Fonz – AYYYYYYYYY!
63.Amazon – Taking over the world
64.Kask – That’s a good looking lid
65.Milla Jovovich – I don’t get the appeal
66.Iron Maiden – Up the Irons!!
67.Alice Cooper – Brought horror to music
68.Ghosts – Stop chasing them
69.Time traveling – Where’s my DeLorean?
70.Trump – Candidate for Worst Human Ever
71.Milfs – Didn’t have these when I was a kid
72 House wives – They aren’t so real after all
73.books on tape – Great for road trips
74 Jeremiah Johnson – Best GIF of All time
75.Cherry Pie – I prefer strawberry rhubarb
76 Etap – Fuck wires
77.DI2 – Game changer
78.Arbys – Bring back the ArbyQ
79 Scotty Q – Have you seen the tandems this guy builds?
80.Whoppers – Love them in the Jr. version
81.Big Ray – Toothache pain
82.tubeless – What an incredible pain the ass to set up, but man is it a great ride
83.run ups – Ditch the barriers
84.barriers – Less is more
85.team Hagerty – Team DOPER
86.Gravel road racing – Not as cool as I thought it should be
87.Pick up trucks – Sure can fit a lot of shit back there
88.USA – Get over yourself
89.Brasil – Thanks for the wax
90.http://gumimis.tumblr.com – SuperTan4Life
91.JB Hancock – No one tries harder than him to put on a great race
92.STDs – Cover your willy
93.kraft cheese products – Grew up strong on that shit, but Velveeta is coming…
94.Evil-Dude – Such a great bobblehead
95.Osgood – If only he could put the fork down…
96.post holes – I’m not digging them
97.Thongs – For the WIN
98.Carbonfiber – More sexy please
99.Rudy project – Lots of models, just don’t go for prescription
100.Dam Yankum – Runs in the family
101 singlespeeds – BMX for adults
102.driving 5 hours to ride for 3 – Depends on the 3
103.group rides – Pick the right one
104.group sex – Yes please
105.group fights – The first rule of Fight Club…
106.Foosball – Table soccer
107.Bowling – Cheap fun with booze and smelly shoes
108.Darts - Meh
109.Farts – Still make me laugh
110 shopping carts – I’ll race those too
111.locker rooms – They stink
112.jocks - Meatheads
113.Jock Straps – A bra for your balls
114 chix in jock straps – Sounds like they’re packing heat…
115 Spanking – I’ll give and receive
116.walking on Ice – As long as it’s not thin
117.dodging trains – Don’t push your luck
118 DC – The Pain Train!
119.PCP – Great Chapelle skit
120.Fist Fucking – OUCH!
121.Coke – Killed Pantani
122.Pepsi – That’s all Mike ever wanted
123.Luch meat – Why not?
124 PBJ – Love Goober, but only grape
125.Ramen Noodles – Still eat it to this day…and I can afford real food
126.Local Bike shops – Please support them
127.Ebay – Don’t give a shit about sellers
128 Smart Phones – Love them
129.Passion ...yours.. – How could I live without it?
130.tomorrow – May never come

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Posts like this are why I keep coming back. Still miss some of the old race recaps and rider interviews.

Shrek said...

You've said a lot of crazy shit before, but the Taylor Swift hate will not stand. You crossed a line.

Henrietta Collins said...

😂🖕🖕😂 Plant your flag!

Anonymous said...

Gun to tape bud