The trouble with fat bikes is that they’ve somehow become this all-purpose bicycle that anyone can ride anywhere, but shouldn’t. 

It’s like the douchebag Jeep crowd who have all these jacked up ATV’s, but stick to cruising Woodward with their collars popped. 
Go away.  See, back in the day, the fat bike was a purpose-built bike.  More recently, those Surly guys up in Minnesota needed something that could handle the ugly snowy winters that make Michigan look tropical.  Sure, fat bikes were being ridden at Iditabike in the years before this, but Surly really started the commercialization of the fat bike.  And it was intended to be ridden on snow or perhaps extreme sand.  But if it’s good for one specific type of riding, surely it’s good for all, right?  Why wouldn’t you want to ride a four-inch tire with no air on hardpack trail in the summer while your Q-factor makes it look like you just got off a horse?  That’s got to be the right tool for the job.  It’s like grabbing your snow shovel when you’re looking to dig a shallow grave.  And you can forget about your gravel bikes.  Gravel races should raced on fat bikes because nothing says racing like putzing around all upright while you’re waving to all your friends all pumped up to finish and get to that beer for that crushing effort you just put in. 

This ain’t the Wild West. 

Unless your name is Jordan Wakely, leave that shit at home until the fat bike series starts.  Perhaps the fat bike has already jumped the shark considering the laughable turn out at the USAC Fat Bike National Championships.  For two years now, we’ve seen a slightly bigger than average local race with a few out of town gunslingers and cool course marking.  Enough is enough.  Unless you’re riding in the snow or those grizzly bear dunes Up North, keep that thing in the garage.

 If I see another one of these heavy turd bikes slow rolling through downtown looking for the coffee shop, I’m going to shove you off and take your lunch money. 



Fight me.
Regards Henry