The Trouble with....Gravel Racing:

Gravel Racing: 

The trouble with gravel racing is it’s on the verge of being ruined and you don’t even know it yet.

 Because if 50 miles is good, 100 miles will be great, right?  Yet they still call it the Lowell 50 even though there is no 50 mile option.  You can do 34 or you can do 100.  And don’t you think about multiple laps so you can grab bottles.  Oh no, that’s one 100 mile loop.  At least sales of Camelbak will go up.  Let’s face it, there’s only a handful of you losers out there training properly enough to handle the rigors of this event at the front.  The rest of you are posing Monday through Friday on Strava and masturbating on Zwift.  Ride to your strengths, sub two hour events will actually be races and be more exciting.  Plus it’ll get you home with enough energy left to go down on momma.  So just like mtb time trialing, gravel racing is going to be ruined so some schmuck can pull his pud while dreaming of being in the World Tour at Strade Bianche.  Have fun with your damn near six hour race in March, I’m sure it will come down to a bunch sprint.  And while we’re at it, might as well invite USARecycling to the table.  Considering the success of Fart Bike Nationals, I’m sure they’d love to get their grubby little mitts in there lining up to hand out jerseys for slow dudes who think they’re hard.


Believe me when I tell you, less is more.

Fight me.
Regards Henry