1.Cyclocross.. a death like feeling going too hard and seeing 6 laps to go...

2.40K TTs as if bent into that position for 20K is not miserable enough

3.Road races...not all just Michigan ones...fighting for wheels over boring chip seal for just short enough lengths to keep the semi fit together is as close to death as you can get

4.Crits, depending on the course and field depth any crit could be as death like as the Black Aces gig

5. 100 mile mountain bike races..no one looks like they are having fun

6.BMX, clipped in on tiny bikes with no treads tires and a straight away filled with 25 jumps that you either roll, pump, manual or have to jump over...

7.FONDOS..pack riding with chix and old men on tri bikes..no thanks ill pass.

8.Downhill MTB if you have the skills sure..if you dont your two turns and one big drop off to the next year in a wheelchair

9.Track racing..the bikes have no brakes                 
nuff said

10.Fix gear crits..no brakes, multiple corners....what a better way to see which body part gets tweaked

11.Mountainbike XC..like sudden death..diarrhea it isnt so funny now is it?

12.Everesting ...your life is missing something..if climbing a hill multiple to times to reach the height of  the Famous peak..... it is a sure way destroy small parts of your grey matter...

13.Any bike race at altitude..for the few that dont live there it never turns out well..

14.RAAM The race across America anytime oh boy...you fall sleep pedaling its probably time to find a new hobbie

15.Zwift riding or racing  inside..unless your trying to heal a wound or its so shitty outside there is no reason to destroy brain cells staring at a Ipad...

beautiful ways to destroy....