Before i spoil your overpriced Burger and snobby ass beer...
First off...remember people..this post will solidly hold true to normal TMS smelly composed programmer and chopped up foul comma paragraphs..secondly  these opinions are not general the opinions of the good folks that bring the entertainment of this ridiculous blog to you ...but more the opinions of how i have been observing you over the past 2 years


Oh..and please use your imagination..I know not all athletes use this side of the brain since you are soo focused on improving the output of your hobbies suffer score..but i tried to break it down to you in a way you can understand..



think of this as a training program they are all just little percentage to higher threshold wattage...



if i forget to tell you..Thanks for coming...


1.volunteers:
Come on lets all really be honest..how many of you just show up..

taking the 3% that have actually given backed..worked a rider clinic, helped with neutral support and sat at a registration table instead pro-posin around your crew...

dammit even the Evil-Dude worked the STS clinic for 2 years

 I know...life is busy and why should you volunteer for a hobby and treat it like work...
shit doesn't work unless we do people...




2.cost
None of us are going broke racing a bike..
but the shit aint cheap..and when you really look at it... trying to convince your brother Paul to pony up for  an almost semi useless USAC license is tough...Oh and for $30 for  a spring training race that last 35 minutes and you will get nothing in return .not even a coozy or some outdated energy bar?....come on is there anyone listening ..give these dick swingers a six pack or  bag of Fritos
Its kinda of insult to work you put nin for the time spent away from the family etc..


Makes sticking around home and segment stalking a tad more inviting...



3.trend
Aint no lying here the Lance effect was over years ago folks...long gone...are you all that blind to see it?

back in the boom of early Y2K it was easy to understand the rise in road bike sales..and after all the glory of the next wide-eyed local hot shoe, and Mens Health and fitness wannabe  bought into the 23mm tires and team kits...and when  those MTBers turn roadies.signed up for some crit racing at the local industrial park..the future looked bright

most aren't old enough to remember prior to the Jacked up Y2K period .the road scene around here barely existed in this state...

You can thank the guy that created the swell to also kill it...until the general pickup truck driving population  stop looking at all road racing cyclist as lying cheating doping fuck sticks things will continue like this for a while...



4.age of participants
really..kids don't ride bikes..You can thank the smartphone companies or any other handheld device manufacturer that you can get on your family phone plan for killing the innocence of youth..you think the Bike industry is hurting for youths...

ask someone who works in the Toy industry..
when is the last time you scene a Cody or Kyle and maybe Todd laying in the dirt playing GI Joes, or playing freeze tag .heaven forbid Dodge Ball..UGH!..or guns in the front yard till..dark?

Oh I forgot kids do play with guns, unfortunately, kids are not getting up from that innocence of play..
Lets keep the kiddos inside were they are safe and sound..

without going into all those other sports kids can get into..cycling isn't too far up on the normal soccer moms list...

lets look at bike riding for a the third..
since BMX has been almost ruined by the extreme tracks parents are seeing on the World Cup and Olympic level..its no wonder parents keep the kids playing normal sports....

And since every helicopter parent is scared to death there kid is the next target for some human trafficking slimeball, or they will get run down by the teenager down the street cuz she is constantly on her phone..who could blame a kid for forgoing a bike for a smartphone

This is going to be hard one to fix people..your fighting the ignorance of society...



5.venues
this is probably more cost of venues..but venues all the same.

Try to find some place or convince a small town that a bike race will bring revenue to it all the while tying  up traffic and retail space for a day while your out doing your hobby.

The solution is going back to industrial parks or car tracks for awhile...not the most interesting  course but it sure beats nothing



6.romance
Didnt we fall in love with cycling because it looks soo easy..?
if i had a goddam dollar for every time someone says to me i can ride 20mph no problem and i ride 40 miles everyday id be pulling more grip in that kid who has raced 70+ times a year...

but lets face it show up to a crit or a hard road race and most people find out that racing is fucking hard and your Strava profile isn't worth bat turds or getting you the results against some guy 20 years your senior who probably puts out a hellva lot less watts than your Trainer road test says you do..

you ever notice..this not just in the road scene but in other disciplines in our sport..about 75%  of the people that slowly work there way up through the normal rank and file of the USAC category systems stick around for 3/4 years..reality is a bitch and a solid 1/2 field smacks em on the snout..


some make it

some dont..
Romance...yea right


7.society
road racing isn't for everyone..why?
Sometimes you get dropped thats why

have you ever went to a crit or Waterford race and said 

i just want to finish..???

Now a days most in society  like those four words..           just want to finish..


most gravel road racers..(take out the Scottys, The Snottys The SIMONSTERS The Ackers and Slackers etc)..are just happy to be there...



who in there right fucking mind is happy to get dropped on the back side of Gaslight?

or getting caught behind a clipped pedal broken clavicle trip to Flower Hospital ruin your fathers day crash at the Death crit..

not too many  i have to believe..



8.return on investment

Drive 2 hrs to race a gravel road race? yea why..cuz its fun..and chances are your  gonna get a beer, a warm chocolate chip cookie and a free slice of pizza!
oh dont forget to pick up that one off finishers medal at the end

A road race or crit for a cat 4/5 event?
do you have a copy of your USAC license?
numbers on the right....


good luck today...




9.time
The utmost important thing in any humans life...like any type of bike racing its an all day affair.
see above...
Zeeland was perfect roll model for a time crunched race not a pile of classes..
no masters 4/5 shit..

started around dinner... done around wine time..nuff said



10.risk factor
Crit racing is not for the guy not willing to go the hospital..Road racing is safer..but maybe its just Michigan racing since most turn into a fight for wheel affair all day..not a physical risk but more mental..

not a good day at the office folks...



hard to take selfies...




11.social media
Has such a huge impact anymore on whats cool and whats lame..


When i see my my neighbor Greg posting selfies while suffering coming into turn four at Corktown..ill buy into it...there goes that same thing again..fun..i dunno about you


 i aint scene anyone having fun at 180 heart rate going elbow to elbow with some guy on his 12K plastic bike..

..MTBing and Gravel riding..everyone is smiling..and while we are on the social media soapbox..


Id be a dick eating turd pusher if i didnt say Strava has had an effect on the numbers rating of your hobbie...


why would the average Derick Packfill  want to spend the day away from the second wife on the on one of his valuable weekends without his screaming kids from the first wife..traveling to Penciltucky  doing the Driveway crit series..
when he can hand your ass to you on any one of the numerous KOMS some other Egotistic self jack-fuck has laid out all over his county just so he can measure his TSS score and suffer rating against the other fuckwad that just laid claim to it last fuckin week  after getting drafted behind Lexus with a 15 mph tailwind..

Then theres Zwift.

Oh and dont get me started on how the virtual world of dick measuring has had the ill effect on your hobbie...

not good folks..
not healthy..none of it..


They Say grunge killed metal...alot can be said for Strava etc



12.us
Yea..you..me..this blog..and the guy looking down at roman nose at your out dated set of wheels at the starting line..see #1..we gripe, complain, cry..and post pot stirring shit on this pathetic wasted time and space of this blog..instead of spending the time more wisely and working together..

sure i may hate that miserable prick..but if we could get on some common ground maybe i myself could look past shoving a big thick dildo up his snobby tight 2 dollar ass...



13.reputation
For years and years the road scene has had the reputation of being a snobby look down the end of there nose number of miles and how much wattage they put out bag of dick eating pricks..

although this rep has dissipated with the influx of cool mountain bike guys; and just general normal humans out for a good time doing a hobby


there is still a pile of you fuckin turds out there talking about how good you are to anyone that will listen..The guy at the car wash..the latest gal on tinder... the local bike shop lunky..who probably in actuality knows your a self induced  egotistic entitled bag rotten shit balls..


dont believe me..
look at Strava




14.stress
like all types of racing its stressful..
stressful not to get gapped off..
catch a pedal..
get dropped..ran into to a curb..
hit a man hole cover..
crack a 2K set of carbon wheels you haven't even paid for yet..
the loss of $$ because you had to take they off work so you can do your hobby..
the stress of worrying about the yard,
the wife..the kids your neglecting........... all for the fun of doing your hobbie..

some handle it..some dont......

dont stand there and lie and lie to me..
its stressful either that or you really are that self centered prick your wife told me about last week...



15.commitment
the single most hardest thing in life..
committed to something in life..
committing to a break away
committing to a last lap dont fuckin look back eat my dick attack for the line...
or wow..just simply committed to a training plan..a goal..not too many people out there are in it for the long..


its kinda hard to just jump into a crit or road race once or twice year,

like the Gravel or Fondo mentality can do..
when they get tired they slow down..very befitting to the general population


You know folks...this wasn't how I wanted this conversation to turn out..
but the more i lurked around your world and watched your actions and read through the notes in your lockers..



and then after a brief conversation with probably the only person in this god forsaken mud covered world that has been around long enough to see the rise and slowly decent of a sport and that can fully understands this blog..


He  brought this to light..that probably will become a whole nother rant in the future..

in these words..................

get off my lawn he said.
millennial's..
they are killing road racing... 

maybe something you can think about as well..
if you can get past your silly Strava titles, and placing name stickers on your 10K carbon-fiber  hobbie machine..all the while waiting for the next pro-deal to come through so you post a shameless plug on some form of social media that is popular this week...

I know this whole entire rant seems like such a far out right wing suck me dick radical take on such small part of everyone life...but what did you expect from me...

its a big shit sandwich people and we all gotta take a bite..

Hate me