1. Limited the number of bikes you own
2. Requires a permit to vape
3. Restrictions on beard length go in effect September one
4. Cat 1/2 will be run solely separate from sketchy 3/4 group no matter the rider count
5. Buys the Taco Bell franchise 
6. Changes menu back to the 1986 issue 
7. Only allows two pizzas per household a week
8. No orgasms after midnight 
9. Owns the rights to Facebook 
10. Crit racing will now be a minimum of 90 minutes 
11. Deer hunting season is reduced to 5 days 
12. And is limited to hunting with a slingshot and a baseball bat
13. Abortion is now allowed up to 15 years 
14. Kid Rock is no longer allowed to ever fuckn produce another record 
15. You will be taxed on any penis longer than 4 inches
16. Restrictions on pickup truck height go into effect right fuckn now
17. All 16 ounce beers will come with no more than 12 ounces 
18. Buys the rights to Monster Energy 
19. Changes the Monster Energy color to Blue
20. Only fan pages can now only show bare stomachs 
21. Marriage between a man and a woman is outlawed 
22. Caught wearing pajamas in public is a 100 dollar fine
23. Wearing Crocs are now considered a felony 
24. Clipless pedals are now restricted in bmx
25. No front chainring during road race under 62 tooth
26. All Dodge Charger production ceased as of 2022
27. Viagra will be discontinued 
28. Side by sides are now no longer allowed in the state Michigan 
29. Any type of Doodle breeding is no longer a thing, and is deemed cruel and unnecessary  in all  48 states
30. Barry Roubaix has been cut to one length, 150 miles
31. ICEMAN moved to December due to climate change
32. Strava is now free to everyone
33. The senseless local legend award is discontinued 
34. Waterford and Gratten have been awarded UCI Sanctions
35. Takes over Fun Promotions and brings back a 8 race series 
36. Begins Charging a entry fee to ride at the DTE trail network on the weekends 
37. The wearing of any spandex at the above trail will be considered a misdemeanor 
38. Beef Jerky is now Vegan Jerky
39. Buys the rights to Mountain Dew, and changes the color to a light blue hue
40. Long Travel bikes are restricted at all mountain bike trails in Michigan
41. Caps the number of riders Base Media is allowed per season 
42. Enforces McDonald’s to keep the McRib on the menu all season
43. Takes over Zwift on line racing, and enforces the power to weight ratio 
44. Brings back Phart bike racing to the scene, but only in the months December thru February 
45. Ceases production of all pickup trucks for the remainder of 2022 fiscal year, and thus helping the gas supply issue 
46. Gives Terry Ritter a permanent retirement 
47. Creates and fully funds a UCI continental team for, Sam Junge.
48. Reversing time, the scene sees a reemergence of the Tailwind series for 2023
49. All children must be in bed and asleep before 8:30 Pm, or a fine of 75 dollars will be implied to there rotten parents
50. racing in jorts will be terms for a one year suspension 
51. Waxing of any female body part is now deemed illegal and if found with such will be fined 100 dollars 
52. No rim brake road bikes will be allowed in any USA cycling event
53. The Michiganscene blog is permanently shut off
54. Anyone found flying a confederate flag will be executed on sight

Fuck Joe Biden?