1. Permanently snot covered gloves, yuck!

2.Socks don’t  grow attached them and there not lucky there good for about 4 washings 

3.If your going to play frogger at a four lane intersection, please advised me before the ride begins, that way i can make arrangements at some time during the ride to call a meat wagon for your wreck less ass.

4.Bar Tape. Remember we talked about this? keeping it clean is one thing, but dude if you cant finish off properly let someone who can.

5. A constant surge when riding two abreast is far less offensive way of telling the asshole next to step fucking half wheeling me than chopping there fore arm

6. That grimy winter/rain coat. Trust me its not coming clean if it hasn't already. 

7 .Your shoes! at most fuck clean last years ICEMAN mud out of them for Christ sake!

8.Your stylish sunglasses came with something really fuckin handy! its a little soft cloth that is used as a bag, and holy fuckin bat turds! its soft enough to clean your sticky fudge smeared specs!

9. Lube that chain and if you still have one! save your wingman the constant tone of high pitched squeaking 

10. Man, your telling me you have to stop and pee 50 minutes into the ride already. Fuck show me the doctors note, or chase back on! 

11. Well i guess if you have to carry two magnum H2O bottle on a 1 hour and 50 minute ride..I sorta understand

12. Your worn out shorts! a reminder no one wants to see your Baboon ass.

13.300 dollar helmet??  Come on maaaan keep that fucker clean.

14.If your gonna ride in the rain with your wingman. bring a real fender, not one of those half assed ones you got swaged at the Alma GP 5 years ago.

15. Im TMS and wouldn't ride with TMS