Wake up..listen up..I’m old, but not too old rusty, but not broken, angry but not mad, and as always sweaty with no odor..

Man I dont need some worn out gym coach coming around talking bout shit he don't even, no

 Fool makes this place look more of a smelly gym locker-room filled jock strap towel snapping goons.. 

Problem i see here folks Just like the scene you all got soft and like to have stuff coated in candy to  make it easier for you swallow...some of you would rather slurp your calories though a bottle rather chew it like a grown ass man….boy you ever have an original thought..hope your momma didn’t make you soo sensitive you can’t take a little life truth..

Man dawg makes me feel queezy to know this place has actually been hobbling long this long without a bit of the old salt and tears that it was composed of..

Yeah

my grammar sucks so what..aint nobody making you stay

Pathetic to say the least. Its never a place for dopers, its not place for cry babies, folks that get butt hurt on criticism…and not everyone should get a swag bag for showing. sad. Got me wringing wrists as i sit pushing back these Lucky Charms and got dammit stop with all those ridiculous ditty bags you all keep hanging on your bikes…Fck..

So what fools I never done me no Friday fifteenth before..so it ain’t gonna be what u all have been accustomed too..

1. Hey hey..all you suckas..that are out dragging two CX bikes around but never pit all year, put that shit up on Marketplace take the grip and throw that shit at Hess for a season of a proper training program, having a 3K piece of plastic hanging in your bike room ain’t doin you no dam good stop pretending your some pro…

2. Yo Simon Bailey! Big props for keeping the OG guard alive and still posting results, ain’t but bout 6/7 of you left!

3. Promoters. Bring the jams..helps lessen the jittery cross gut and music is good for the soul

4. Calling out Euro hot shoes..stop romancing the gluing of the tubulars, just like those wonky two CX bike owners, save your bread, and find guidance amongst some of the many talented coaches

5. Cross State championships, in October..holy booger picking first graders. Only if some fool brings a fire truck and hoses the course down..

6. Don't be showing up to the show with last years bar-tape. Don't cry broke either we know the cost of that shit isnt out of your budget 

7. Vets park CX.. a formidable course indeed. Big high five to the AAVC for sweating it out.

8. Back in the day blah blah blah…shut up fool. Unless you got a Time Machine..shit never be like it was enjoy what you got before you start bellyaching about this season next fall.

9. Call up..call up for what..is there even a ranking system?

10. Nick Stanko..how long can this keep this vibe rolling. Natural talent is a beautiful thing that along with Lotsa heart, and a thick ass wallet is pretty rad too.

11. Scott Goodyear yeah..didn’t think you knew the name, one of the few OG, hey ..hey..fool, you gonna make this your year or you gonna stumble around for another 2.5 months chasing Osgood, Lako and the wrest of the old men..stop making mistakes, shit or get off the pot…

12. Man..I’m just tickled ignorant that those Mornings Crank fellas stepped in filled the un fillable void of the Alma GP..in words of former Tiger great..bless you boys…

13 Saari..keep making those kids look silly..despite not getting the keys to the camper you pretty much own the campground of high CX seniority.

14. If it snows during this CX season…and if anyone thinks it’s a wonderful idea the cheerfully clean the snow off the entire fuckn course May Satan take you from the backside on the infield of the Waterford racetrack in front of the entire Waterford world’s alumni…..Mthrfckr..

15. You had enough yet…no? good because this CX erection isn’t even showing no signs of weakness..shits hard like diamonds..can’t couldn’t even scratch it..

16. Promoters..come on drop those barriers down a bit let’s see some bunnyhop action…pity no one can even lift there front wheel up over a stinking parking curb.

17. Sam I am is out honing his game..dam glad I’m not gonna be in the way of that sword..

18. Any I mean any turd that shows with a handlebar bag should automatically get scored down a lap, it’s ridiculous unsafe should that shit fall off and spill all your watchamahoosits off in the middle of the run up! God awful dumb..head on over the Waterford…

19. Man don’t be showing up on no Phart bike …cross is silly enough now you all got to ride around on 35 pound poorly handling bicycle..

20. Rumor has it.. Scotty A coming. Man I’d love to see me some Scotty on that trophy! 

21. Show up with a leg warmers and bare arms go directly to the infield of Waterford and prepare yourself 

22. Kroske doing cross? Sure why not?

23. Cross specialist throwing out excessive excuses …don’t even pull that card..you had the entire summer to get get for 2.5 months of this shit…bah.

24. Leave your arrogant prick game gane at home, you can be serous but man you aint getting paid 

25. Don’t tell anyone on how the game used to be played, and how was back in the day. 

26.Burke..unless he finds those old legs he goes down as the winningest Michiganscene CX of the modern era 

30. Man! Kisscross..dam you got yourself in a pretty good position..keeping it simple for the stupid..

31.You ever see Queen Anne, Rachel Steele, or even Kelly Patterson smiling while racing CX? Probably not..but yo..yo Dirty Kitten…it’s a race not a fashion show go a little harder, and then maybe those muscles your using to flash those perfect teeth can be better used for shaving off a few more seconds per lap..dam…no one in the P.T.O even watches cross.

32. The Lil Pony..he ain’t done yet..but then again he done much lately 

33.Oxygen debt, shouldn’t be something your experiencing for the first time in nine months, if it is your probably screwed.

34.Hope to god! No one comes up with some silly ass rim brake category. Stop making fun of the poor and un educated.

Hate me..