GREAT MOMENTS IN TMS HISTORY

 

Fuck masters racing.

 A bunch of old men convinced that there is still some sort of value in winning the Michigan 45-55 Masters Crit. No, there isn’t, you are old, stop kidding yourself and give up. Your ultra-light carbon bike with matching zipp carbon bull shit looks just as stupid as your beer gut. Stop pissing your money away on stupid shit, and try to actually race again. Oh, and riding 220km every weekend didn’t make you fast 20 years ago, and it won’t make you fast now. Give up, or try to do something less stupid on your bike, like loose weight.

Fuck juniors.

Yeah, the children. Put them at 8am every race, and patronize the hell out of them. Give them a pair of socks for winning a crit. Or better yet, nothing. They are too young to matter anyway. Sounds like this one is already done for me.

Fuck Cat 5  through 3.

 Yeah, because getting 3rd at that one crit totally means you need a P.R.O deal on a bike and race fees. You are an idiot who is inflating everything about the cycling industry to the point where no one new wants to join. Why do bikes cost so much, because you fucking rob companies and LBS or any profit. Give your “team” bike back, and quit telling your “friends” that you race bikes at a “semi-pro level”. You are the epitome of an amateur, and it is about fucking time you realize it.

 Cat 2 and 1.

 Where the fuck did that ego come from. Yeah that family of 3 that actually watched your sprint finish were impressed. But they will forget about you faster than all of the friends you have abandoned to pursue your “career” in cycling. The only thing that differentiates you from Cat 3 is nothing. It is all in your head, just like most of the life you lead right now. And you are too old to ever make it anywhere in cycling.

 Domestic Pro.

Once again with the attitude. You travel around the US to ride a bicycle in a circle. Just think about that, and wonder what gives your life meaning. Maybe you should get a twitter like Adam Myerson, and bitch all day long.

International Pro.

Cycling is fucking stupid anyway.

hatin....or flat faced truth....