1. Showing up to a group ride on a time trial bike….three lashes with a brake cable.

2. Dragging your brake in any gravel race without proper warning….punch to the temple..

3. Showing up late to a group ride…who the fuck cares ..when you leave on time. Catch the fuck up mother fucker…

4. Stopping to pee every 45 minutes…inexcusable. Frame pump in the spokes

5. Massively long pulls only to get dropped 45 minutes later…two squirts from a water bottle 

6. Bunny hopping shit in the road while in a pace line. Speculative…unless no one is calling out that shit in front of you.

7. Bellyaching about the wind or anything else uncontrollable by the ride leader …go home and ride Zwift. It’s always nice and calm there..

8. Making last minute adjustments at ride departure. expect to be pimped into a curb half way through the ride.

9. Talking wattage numbers at any point during the ride.  Just shut up.

10. Not letting anyone know in the group your having trouble pulling through until its too late and you gap 1/2 the group off.  awe come on man!!!

11. Expecting it to be a No drop ride when you know its never been a NO drop ride. wizen up !!

12. If your the ride leader and your notorious for running red lights and weaving in between cars without the thought of anyone behind you...Get fucked by Satan..

13. Pulling through like a freight train. Stay at Waterford.

14. Riding too far to the left or completely over the white line. You deserve to be eating through a feeding tube because of recklessness for other riders well being. 

15. Yelling at motorists. Im using you as a human shield..

group rides