1. Change anything ( unless it’s broken) on your bike the day before a race….disgruntled head shake

2. Adjust your fit, of any sorts..see above…..

3. Eat shit at an aide station you have never eaten on a ride…stink eye

4. Leave your race bib, or number plate on for more than 8 hours after an event …straight to jail..

5. Start in the front row when you will probably get dropped by lap one..middle finger to the face

6. Arrive with a dirty bike ..straight to jail..

7. Arrive with a dirty helmet and shoes..one thumb down 

8. Predict tire pressure even before you ever arrive at the course…elbow to the kidney 

9. Buzzing tires in the single track..instant DQ

10. Tossing your bottles before the sprint…back handed slap to the cheek

11. Owning an identical pit bike but never pitting….collect your poser card at the finish line 

12. Wearing a skin suit with a body fat above 4 percent….dutch rub

13. Explaining your training program to someone who didn’t ask you to explain your training program..disgruntled head shake…

14. Telling people you race Pro 1/2 when you actually barely made enough points to be a cat 2….two thumbs down 

15. Being an admin to this lousy fucking blog……straight to jail…