Cone.

Let’s just pick the shittiest ass roads we can and call it a Roubaix.  Oh yeah, that is a great idea, everyone will love it.  Do you know why Barry roubaux is so much more successful than Cone?  A. It is not a part of the shit hole USACYCLING.  B. Mountain bikers know how to fucking support a race.
 

But none of that matters, because you just glued up your $3000 wheelset that was given to you from a “sponsor” after you got dropped from the AAVC “B” field.  So you would much rather test them out than actually race.  Or you are too scared to crash on the dirt.   Maybe you are focusing on your late season peak?  None of that fucking matters, we are riding bikes.  If you are too scared to crash, then don’t fucking race.  Stay home and order some more carbon shit.

Franken muth

This is the epitome of Michigan racing.  Negative as hell.  Yeah, let’s try not to lose rather than trying to win.  The only thing dumber than the flat ass course is the fat ass people sitting on their porch watching you.  But this all doesn’t matter, because it is a sprinter’s course and you are more of a climber. 

What the hell is up with the early ass start time?  Yeah, let’s get done with our race early so we can go home and talk about how good at racing we are.  What is the point of a race if it is hidden in the early depths of the weekend?  Also, who the fuck is TCC? Don’t answer that, nobody cares.

West Branch

Wait there is a hill in West Branch?  That is basically the only reason why this race exists.  A small hill.  But don’t worry, half the scene won’t show up because they are mostly sprinters.

And how many different people can we have promote this stupid race.  What happened to that doper that ran it?  I have a feeling like this will be its last year.  And who wants to win a race that doesn’t exist.  Fucking skip it.

LTDMP

No point in even mentioning it, as everyone is pre-disqualified for looking at the yellow line.  Fuck USAC, do something good for once.

 Cherry Roubaix

No longer state champ race?  No reason to travel the 3 hours to race it.  Face it; you will be burned out by then.   If you do end up racing it, make sure you know how to fake a flat for when you get dropped.   That won’t stop you for calling out the organizer for not reimbursing you for your race.

I hear they give a discounted entry fee if the lead car runs you over in the crit.

thoughts views and comments are not those directly TMS's but since this has been and always will be a open space for haters,lovers, fakers, takers, dopers,posers,losers, and cyber bullies...feel free to pick one or all..and insert whatever it is you feel is your opinion..or not..

life is too short to short "loosen that sphincter up a tad"